Teenage crush

I was a child,naive and untrained in many ways. Love was only an abstract existence that I hope would make sense some day. But on my calendar, I had already erased the thought of some day. In growing and learning, I found you in a place and time that I was wanting. You were like my fairytale princess, but I wasn’t worthy to be your charming. But if you pricked your finger on the needle of the spinning wheel, I will give every kiss to wake you. Sunshine was your colour and the only words you said were a pile of smiles beneath your endearing baby eyes. If I stared long enough into you eyes, my iceberg would melt; but I was a child collecting emotions and memories in a basket of feathers in exchange for a few quiet night rest.

It was that time when spots tried to rob our faces of their innocence. Self-shame began to creep in and made me aware of my thoughts. Love was sprouting inside; it beats faster whenever my hands brushed against you. I would steal time trying to make sense to you, hoping you’d see and save me from the torture of being a child. I’d hope you looked into my eyes; they were my mouth whenever courage fled.

Courage was my favourite companion, but somehow it always bailed out on our little talks. It always left fear spilling like glue around my lips and caused my knees to find solace in rattling against each other. Love was a burden, showing it was strength. If I ever said it, you would think I was child. If I ever wrote it, you would say it was a lullaby. I wished you trusted my hands enough to paint this picture on your heart, it would have made soft arches on the corners of your lips for that knowing smile you always wore and put a periscope in your eyes to know if you knew and felt what I felt. But I gave up fighting courage and decided to live outside the cot. Even though there may be no happily ever after for this, I will always know that I was a child learning to dodge Cupid’s arrow, only to be struck by yours.

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